trying to be positive while realistic.
seriously, something has got to give. certain aspects of my life will have to change so that i make time for myself and making things. i feel the composite of all of the parts of my life are maddening, frustrating, exhausting. however, i know i should feel excited, inspired, enlivened, hopeful in so many ways. and because i do not feel these things, i add depressing and guilty.
so damn tired of the routine of every day. rote behavior is one thing, but i am a fuckin' robot.
i realized in the jackson street station, on my way to work, going from the blue to the red line, i ALWAYS turn left at the end of the tunnel and take those stairs. While going home, traveling in the opposite direction in the same tunnel, i always turn right. in a way, it is smart because then i always know which train is pulling in without having to stop and find a sign. i am so alone in my own head, that i can't even bare to think about having to stop and read a fuckin' sign in the subway; a robot is what i am.
why don't i make routines and behaviors that make me feel better, be better:
21 days to make something a habit is what the experts say.
- eat breakfast
- go to gym
- drink water
- be happy for christ's sake
enough for now. have a good weekend. - hsieh
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hang in there hsieh! you have a lot ging on and you are doing a tremendous job of pulling everything together--you do a TON more than I could ever imagine doing in a single day. Make small goals and accomplish them step by step. I wish my head was in a different place and I could actually motivate to making stuff with you... but my lazy ass's first priority has to be job (I know, it's taking me FOREVER!) anyway... keep your head up and if you want I will try to keep you on track by encouraging you to go to the gym and eat right etc!
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